Adoption Art

This post may be a tad overdue.  Like a year or more.  Back in 2010 and 2011 when we were raising money to bring Wren home, we started a little art project for her bedroom wall.  We gave a small 3x3 canvas to everyone that helped to fund our adoption.  We asked them to paint, draw, write - whatever they wanted to do - knowing that it would be for the little girl we were bringing home.  I didn't keep track of the number of canvases I passed out, but I think it was about 30.   

They are now on her wall, looking super spiffy.  They are all amazing.  We know some seriously talented people.  I LOVE them.  She LOVES them.  She studies them, points to them, talks about them.  She knows they are for her.  Made by all the people who loved her before they knew her.  

Notice there is still some room for more pictures.  I know there are a few more canvases out there that people may have forgotten they had (Grandma).  So maybe someday they'll be returned or maybe someday I'll have to get crafty myself and fill in those blanks.  Either way, it's a project I am so glad we started.  So many people from different pockets of our lives - church, work, neighbors, people near and far and young and old.  I'm still amazed and grateful for all of the support.  

FAQs

How is Wren doing? 
In a word, great!  It has pretty much been a seamless transition.  It has been nearly 2 months that Wren has been home and things could not have gone better.  Hallelujah for answered prayers!
Does she talk much?
Yep.  She is picking up new words all the time.  She likes to repeat everything we say to her.  Just a few of her newest words:  stinky, boogers, chicken, bounce and bottom.  Yeah, I'd say she has the vocabulary of a typical 2 year old.  She also loves to sing and be sung to.  
Why don't you blog more often?
Well, I am lame.  And my camera is currently broken.  And no one wants to read a blog with no pictures.
How are the boys doing?  
They generally like having a sister.   Although, she has ruined a lego creation or two.  And they do have to keep their ruckus to a minimum when she is taking a nap. Gavin loves making her laugh.  Ryder loves to get her out of her crib in the mornings and will even feed her breakfast.  But will still not even consider changing her diaper.  She has those boys whipped.
How is her medical history/health?
We had very little information about Wren when we got her referral back in October.  We received one slip of paper that had some blood work results and another sheet listing the vaccinations she got in Ethiopia. We knew that she was basically healthy, just malnourished. Since she has been home she has been to the doctors office 84 times.  Our doc wanted to test her for everything under the sun,  including to see what  antibodies she had (to see if the vaccines she had in Ethiopia were effective) so she had about a dozen blood samples to give, 5 stool sample, and a urine sample that we still have yet to collect (have you ever tried to collect a urine sample from a diaper wearing toddler?   It's not possible.)   Thankfully all her blood work came back normal - her vaccines took, so she is all up to date.  She did have parasites, but we got that treated with some simple antibiotics.
As I'm sure you've noticed, Wren has wart-like growths on her head.  These are molluscum warts.  They are fairly common in children that have weak immune systems and we noticed some other children in the orphanage had them too.  We have been to the dermatologist and there really isn't much we can do to treat them.  They can be frozen off, but with her skin tone, there is a good chance that would cause scarring.  The doc gave us a cream to use, but most likely we will just have to wait out the virus that causes them.
Have you learned how to do her hair?
I have been studying and planning and buying.  I got the tools, the products, the instruction.  Now I just need a willing participant, and Wren is definitely not willing.  She cannot, will not sit still.  I can barely get her hair parted before she squirms away.  I have managed to do some puffs a few times and even some flat twists.  I do really love her curly hair in it's natural state.  It's so soft and has such a pretty curl pattern.  So most of the time we go natural, and she rocks a cute headband or barrett.

That's it for now.  I'll reward your efforts for reading this forever-long post with a bizarre picture from a few weeks ago.

Wren, sitting on the potty (trying to collect that urine sample), reading daddy's thesis.  

Away We Go: Our Day in Court

Our court date was set for Friday, February 25 at 9am, our last day in Ethiopia.  We arrived a few minutes late, but that didn't really matter.  Apparently, in Ethiopia,  when you have an appointment at a certain time, it's really more of a suggestion, or a possibility.  We climbed 18 flights of stairs (well maybe it was only 2, but if you factor in the elevation of Addis, it was 18) to get to the waiting room. Where we waited.  And waited.

The room was polarized.  A mix of joy and pain.  Happy and sad.  Smiling, adoptive parents, sitting right alongside solemn birth parents, waiting to give their final statement of surrender.  It was hard not to feel guilty.  So many families having to experience such loss at a time when I got to experience such joy. 

We were the second family called to appear before the judge.  We were lead to an adjacent room, the size of a closet, where 2 young women sat behind desks piled high with folders.  Jeff and I had agreed before hand that he would be the one that would do the talking.  I was too nervous.  And I feared I would say or do something that botch the whole thing.   But once the judge started asking us questions I couldn't keep my mouth shut.  I felt like I was rambling on when all she wanted was a yes or no.  She asked us if we were prepared to be a multi-racial family, if we planned to educate her about Ethiopian culture and if our other children were ready to have a sibling.  I guess I didn't botch things up too badly because after about a minute and a half of questions, she closed our folder, looked up, smiled and said "You are approved, she is yours".  Tears of joy.  She is ours.  

outside the courthouse

We got to go back to HOH to play with Wren before our flight left that evening.  We soaked up our last moments together.  We played her more music.  More bubbles. More peek'a'boo.  More hugs and high-fives.  More falling asleep in my arms.  I knew that leaving her would be hard.  And that I would cry.   But I still wasn't prepared for how hard it was, and how much I would cry.  But it is only temporary, that's what I tell myself.  And I know she is getting the best care.   (Her nannies are amazing!  They love those kids so much!)

first official family photo

Hopefully we will be able to go get her in about a month.  Between now and then she will be getting a birth certificate, medical exam and passport.  Her room here is ready.  Her brothers are getting pretty excited.

I still have some guilt issues.  I still think of her birthmother.  Of all the birthmothers and families that feel they have no other option but to surrender their children.  It's not fair.  Not fair that because I was born in America, I get to be her mom.  Heavy, huh?  So I will wrestle with theses issues, taking them to God.  Trying to figure out how to deal with this social injustice.  I am convicted that there is more for me to do...

Away We Go: Part 4

Looking back now, the rest of our time in Ethiopia was kind of a blur, full of happy and sad, excitement and anxiety.    I am glad I took the time to journal about it each day, preserving details I was sure I would never forget, but already have.
We woke to a freshly made hot breakfast every morning (except the one when the power was out) and were then taken to the HOH to see Wren.  We were nervous each time, not knowing if she would be glad to see us.  But she was always happy, even when wasn't feeling so hot for part of our visit.  Runny nose and an icky cough made for a sleepy girl.  She fell asleep in my arms twice - which is just the best feeling, let me tell ya.  We got to perform other normal parental duties as well, like change her diaper and feed her lunch (they feed her so much!  it's like an enormous bowl of cream of chicken soup).

After our morning visits our driver would take us back to the guest house for lunch, which was always accompanied by coffee and Coke.  Coffee and Coke.  Coffee and Coke.  Every meal, all the time. Even at breakfast.  Not sure if you know this, but coffee is kind of a BIG deal in Ethiopia.  Coffee was born in Ethiopia and coffee ceremonies are held daily.  We didn't have the chance to be part of a coffee ceremony on this visit, but will on the next.

After Wren's afternoon nap we got to back for our second visit of the day.  Again, she was always easy going and easily entertained.  We would played music from our computer or phone to see what her reaction was.  She especially loved the itunes visualizer and some old school Michael Jackson.  Ya gotta start somewhere...

On our second to last day in Addis we were able to meet Wren's birthmother.  For weeks I had been very nervous about this meeting.  Like, sick nervous.  I really had no idea what to expect.  Her mother had traveled from southern Ethiopia, a two day trip, to go to court and then meet us.  Even thinking about it now I get uneasy.  She was very polite, she answered most of our questions. It was hard to tell if she was sad or bitter.  She was very reserved, showing no real emotion.  My heart broke for her. I am sure it was painful for her.  So needless to say, it wasn't an easy meeting.  I'd go as far to say it was the most awkward moment of  my life.  We will save the details of our meeting for Wren.  It is her story, her family history.  As awkward as it was, I am glad we had the opportunity to meet her and someday share it with her daughter.

Away We Go Part 3: The Day We Met

We left our house at about 3:30 am.   It was dark.  And I was deliriously tired.  And nauseatingly nervous.  The flight to DC was a breeze.  The flight to Addis was not.  It was a full flight, so there was no stretching the legs or sprawling out over a row of seats.  I got to sit next to a man who had no shame.  A nose picking, armpit scratching and beer guzzling stinky stranger.  I did not sleep the entire way there.  It was painful and I was on the verge of tears.  I was quite a mess.  When we arrived in Addis there was no one to meet us at the airport.  A Children's Hope rep should have been there to pick us up and take us back to House of Hope II, the CHI guest house for adoptive parents.  But no. We waited.  And waited.  We finally decided to try and call HOH.  No dice.  Our phone could not get service, and we couldn't figure out the pay phones at the airport.  And we were cranky and tired.  I guess we must have looked pretty pitiful because a woman approached us and asked if she could call someone for us.  Hoorah!  We finally got ahold of our escort, who showed up at the airport about 30 minutes later.  Apparently there was some miscommunication between our agency and the HOH director about our arrival day.  
We made it to the HOH II  so we could get some rest and have lunch before going to the transition home to meet our daughter.
The children are at the House of Hope, aka HOH, aka The Transition Home.  It is about a mile from the guest house where we were staying.  Wren was waiting for us when we got there.   She was in a very good mood, singing and smiling, happy to see us.  Her nanny carried her upstairs and lead us to a family room, where all the magic family bonding happens.  It is just a plain room with some tables and couches.     At first she was not too keen on being left alone with us, but after just a few minutes she warmed up to us and her nanny snuck out.    Wren was very excited to show us her new shoes.  She would point to them, smile and say "chamas" (shoes).  We would take them off and put them back on - that was a fun game.  She was also entertained by the computer and the phone and a piece of cardboard she found under the sofa.  We left the transition home late in the afternoon.  Wren was very sleepy - she had skipped her nap to see us.  We would go back the following morning for some more bonding/play time.

sleepy wren.  sleepy mommy.  

Our drive took us back to the HOH II, where we had dinner.  It was a traditional Ethiopian meal; cooked veggies, rice, some mysterious meatball things, and injera - a traditional Ethiopian bread.  everything was great, except the injera.  Some people love it, some hate it.  It looks like a giant pita, but it tastes nothing like pita.  It's spongey.  And sour.   And kind of bitter.  It is used as a utensil; just tear off a piece of injera and pinch up some rice and veggies.  It wasn't our favorite, but it is the pride of Ethiopian cuisine, so we cleaned our plates.
There were no other CHI adoptive parents making the trip with us, so we were the only ones at the guest house.  It was lonely and we would have loved to have had the opportunity to meet and talk with other adoptive parents.  Hopefully next time!

our (messy) room at the House of Hope II

exterior of HOH II

Away We Go: Part 1

Very soon we will be leaving on our first trip to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  Eeek!  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.  Nervous.  Excited.  Anxious.  Downright giddy I tell ya!  I get to hold her!!!!  But not until after the the LONG flight there, which is one of  the reasons for my nervousness.   While I love to travel, I am not a great traveler.   Airplanes kinda freak me out.  I mean after all, 'an airplane is just a building on it's side, being thrown through the air' (Claire, Modern Family).
I am also nervous because I have to leave my boys.   My babies!  How will they get along without me?!   In reality I know that they will not miss me one single bit.  In fact they can't wait to get rid of me, and manipulate their poor, sweet, unassuming Grandma into taking them to Chuck E. Cheese.  They are so crafty.  I will miss their craftiness.
So, here we go.  Off to see our girl.  And hug her.  And play with her.  And make her our own.

ps.  Once we get back, we'll answer the ever so popular question "What's her name?"  Stay tuned....