Monday, March 7, 2011

Away We Go: Our Day in Court

Our court date was set for Friday, February 25 at 9am, our last day in Ethiopia.  We arrived a few minutes late, but that didn't really matter.  Apparently, in Ethiopia,  when you have an appointment at a certain time, it's really more of a suggestion, or a possibility.  We climbed 18 flights of stairs (well maybe it was only 2, but if you factor in the elevation of Addis, it was 18) to get to the waiting room. Where we waited.  And waited.
The room was polarized.  A mix of joy and pain.  Happy and sad.  Smiling, adoptive parents, sitting right alongside solemn birth parents, waiting to give their final statement of surrender.  It was hard not to feel guilty.  So many families having to experience such loss at a time when I got to experience such joy. 
We were the second family called to appear before the judge.  We were lead to an adjacent room, the size of a closet, where 2 young women sat behind desks piled high with folders.  Jeff and I had agreed before hand that he would be the one that would do the talking.  I was too nervous.  And I feared I would say or do something that botch the whole thing.   But once the judge started asking us questions I couldn't keep my mouth shut.  I felt like I was rambling on when all she wanted was a yes or no.  She asked us if we were prepared to be a multi-racial family, if we planned to educate her about Ethiopian culture and if our other children were ready to have a sibling.  I guess I didn't botch things up too badly because after about a minute and a half of questions, she closed our folder, looked up, smiled and said "You are approved, she is yours".  Tears of joy.  She is ours.  

outside the courthouse

We got to go back to HOH to play with Wren before our flight left that evening.  We soaked up our last moments together.  We played her more music.  More bubbles. More peek'a'boo.  More hugs and high-fives.  More falling asleep in my arms.  I knew that leaving her would be hard.  And that I would cry.   But I still wasn't prepared for how hard it was, and how much I would cry.  But it is only temporary, that's what I tell myself.  And I know she is getting the best care.   (Her nannies are amazing!  They love those kids so much!)

first official family photo

Hopefully we will be able to go get her in about a month.  Between now and then she will be getting a birth certificate, medical exam and passport.  Her room here is ready.  Her brothers are getting pretty excited.

I still have some guilt issues.  I still think of her birthmother.  Of all the birthmothers and families that feel they have no other option but to surrender their children.  It's not fair.  Not fair that because I was born in America, I get to be her mom.  Heavy, huh?  So I will wrestle with theses issues, taking them to God.  Trying to figure out how to deal with this social injustice.  I am convicted that there is more for me to do...


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